This Doctor Who Story Tried to Be Star Trek (and Failed)
A missing Troughton adventure goes full space-Western, model-shot spectacle—and still ends up drifting aimlessly in the void.
Plot Summary
The Doctor, Jamie, and Zoe are squeezed between a suspicious starship captain and merciless pirates who are plundering the space lanes of a nascent Earth Empire.
Notable for:
Almost entirely missing, very little survives beyond the single episode.
Robert Holmes’ second story. Was originally supposed to be 4 episodes.
Difficult to date, but it seems like it’s early in Earth’s interstellar travels, so the 22nd or 23rd centuries, most likely, even though a screen in episode 2 implies it’s 1992!
In other media, it’s revealed that the Issigri Mining Corporation eventually becomes the Interplanetary Mining Corporation from Colony in Space.
Was written as a replacement for The Dream Spinner by Paul Wheeler, which had technical problems and was axed.
Last story to be produced by Peter Bryant.
The regulars were filming The War Games during the production of episode six and appear only in pre-filmed inserts.
First story where John Nathan-Turner was on staff, as a floor assistant.
Per Doctor Who: A Celebration, the model work was done by the BBC’s new “Space Unit,” which had created working models for the network’s coverage of the Apollo program.
Episode 2, which had already been preserved by the BBC, was also recorded off-air by an enthusiast. It’s the earliest known home video recording of Doctor Who.
Similar to The Ice Warriors, a soprano, Mary Thomas, provided vocals for the eerie-sounding space transitions.
Only time the title cards included quotation marks.
Holds the record for the longest amount of time for the Doctor and his companions to appear in a story (15 minutes), per the TARDIS wiki. (not counting Mission to the Unknown)
Pete commentary:
Holy cow, what a slog. I try not to be biased by the fact that this is done with reconstructions, but this tale of pirates in space trying to outwit both the frontier cops, the company people, and the Doctor and his companions is a padded, pointless mess. Patrick Troughton left the show mostly because of the punishing schedule, but you can imagine he’d be more okay with it if he was putting out excellent work. I suspect The Space Pirates may have pushed him over the edge, leading him to think, “I’m working all the time, and THIS is the stuff I have to show for it?”
Corroborated by Michael Troughton: According to him, Patrick Troughton wasn’t impressed by the slow-moving plot. “I remember my father arriving at our house after completing a producers’ run-through for episode two of The Space Pirates. He was angry, but anger born of frustration rather than aggression. I recall him complaining to my mother about how dull and unwatchable The Space Pirates was going to be: ‘This is episode two and we’re still trapped in that bloody awful spaceship set. I told them people will just turn off.’” He did, however, grow to enjoy it.
That said, you have to give points to The Space Pirates for trying something different than the typical alien invasion. It’s one of the rarer Troughton episodes where all the heroes and villains are human, with no rubber mask in sight. So it’s a bit refreshing in that regard.
Let’s list off all the times the regulars are captured and put in closets or confined spaces, and escaping becomes a major plot point:
They’re forced to hide in the beacon
The pirates toss them in the pit
Caven puts them in Dom’s old study
Getting captured or held at gunpoint is part of Doctor Who, but in each case the act of escaping takes a ton of time and ostensibly shows the cleverness of the Doctor (the exception being the first time, where the risk he takes backfires). The repetition makes it feel tired, and basically a crutch.
SAY SOMETHING NICE: The pirate helmets slay.
The Star Trek influence here is palpable, but only in design and plot. The crew of the V-ship are mostly interchangeable stiffs. Hermack is stolid—I can’t help but think he’s reading all his lines from cue cards. Warne and Penn don’t seem to have any distinctive qualities, apart from their accents, and they don’t do much in the way of problem solving. This might be based on the crew of the Enterprise, but it sure doesn’t taste the same.
Similarly, the final scene, with them cracking a bad joke about walking to the TARDIS, then cutting to credits as everybody laughs, seems like it’s trying to mirror the back-slapping endings of many Star Trek episodes. The problem is the joke sucks, and it essentially dismisses the 6(!) episodes we just saw as filler.
The plot is a bit strange to begin with. Who pillages cargo by attaching rockets to it in order to pick up later? It’s honestly not a terrible idea, but the only time the script uses it effectively is when the pirate dart switches up its nosecone.
Also, it’s really convenient that the pirates didn’t think that anyone could figure out where their base is simply by plotting the end point of the course they were on. Maybe do a less direct path next time?
It’s funny to watch ’60s era sci-fi where everything is analog and transistors were new. The idea that Caven needs to attach hardware to take over the LIZ remotely is quaint. Surely it would just be software today.
Madeline’s wig is… oh boy. Who thought this metallic bouffant was a good idea? It doesn’t look future-y at all—it’s just a mental ’60s fever dream, and not in a good way.
How did Madeline not notice her dad was being kept prisoner right under her nose for years? He must have been fed, watered, clothed, etc. and taken to the bathroom (no one comments on any bad smells). And why has Dom gone feral? What exactly was Caven’s plan with him?
How the hell does Zoe not understand what candles are? She also isn’t familiar with argonite and the other technology of the period. Which is fair enough, but it negates her typical cleverness, which makes you wonder why Holmes wanted to do that. Did he have it out for her?
Moreover, I can’t stand the idea that someone from the future wouldn’t be familiar with elements of the past. Star Trek does this sometimes with characters not knowing what cars from the 20th century are. I may not ride horses at all, but I understand what they are, and that most people used to use them for transport a couple of hundred years ago.
SAY SOMETHING NICE: There’s some great dialogue from Troughton when he speaks Zoe and Jamie:
“Zoe, don’t be such a pessimist.”
“Jamie, I think you don’t appreciate all I do for you.”
I appreciate Caven’s evil, though he seems really dumb once his plan is found out. I’m just going to blow up everything? You’re not even going to take Madeline as a hostage?
Dervish’s escape from the Issigri office in episode 6 makes Jamie look incredibly dumb. Dude, you had one job!
The theme of the old timers (Milo and Dom) having the experience and know-how to save the day isn’t terrible, though it’s a bit of a rehash of what we saw in The Seeds of Death.
I have no problem with there being explosions in space, but where are the stars? Everything looks black.
The climax, with both Dervish and the Doctor messing around with what look like vats of liquid nitrogen, is one of the most ill-advised in Doctor Who history: slow, plodding, and wholly predictable. Wow, he cut the right wire at the last minute? What a twist!
What did Pete’s family think?
Grace was a trooper in getting through the reconstructions on Daily Motion, but wow was it a slog. She liked episodes 1+2, and she rebounded in episode 5, but generally she found it hard to follow and confusing.
Four Questions to Doomsday - Pete
Why did the Randomizer take us here? Simply fulfilling the pirate’s curse, I suppose. I did ask for no screams, and it almost delivers, with the exception of the end of episode 3.
What if the evil plot had succeeded? Say that Caven gets out a minute earlier and is able to set off the bomb at 11:58 or so. Everybody dies. Not only that, but he has a TARDIS once he recovers the beacon parts. In selling to the highest bidder, he gets a lot of interest from the Daleks and Cybermen. He sells to one of them (or someone else), gets majorly rich right before one or the other invades all of time and space.
Where’s the Clara splinter? Designer of the beacons: durable, magnetic, airtight, modular (so easily split apart), with their own gravity, and each with their own oxygen tank—totally convenient to be marooned in! She might also be distracting Jamie somehow in episode 6, letting Dervish escape.
Dalek, Ogron, Professor Hayter, Viscount Banger, Fixed Point in Time, Lady Cassandra, or Zarbi? Ogron. Sorry, Bob Holmes. You went on to do great things, but about the only thing this is notable for is padding. And the pirates’ helmets.